Scattered Particles
by Night of the fallen angel
Summary: Maybe permanent death would have been better than this. SI


**_Note:_ ** I have no idea why I posted this. This segment wasn't supposed to see daylight. It was hidden on my usb port for a reason, just to sit there and be something that my brain decided to cook up.

 **why:** I felt like jumping onto the bandwagon and to try my hand at this.

 **Flames** : Will not take kindly to. I'm here to write my own stories and not cater to those that wish to say harsh things. I write for my own pleasure. I write to get better, so Constructive crit is more than welcome.

 **Suggestions:** Are more than welcome and ideas as well.

 **Warning:** FemGaara/SI

I have no idea where this story is going, so please bear with me. I have two jobs and school, please be considerate. I can't always update like some people do on here.

I love writing and this is something I enjoy. So please, enjoy this segment and let me know what you think?

 ** _READ INFO UBOVE THIS: YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED_**

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 _Scattered Particles_

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 _I don't know what's more terrifying to me,_

 _living and dying with the unknown ahead,_

 _Or living and dying_

 _Only to repeat it again._

I could remember the cool breeze after a rainfall.

The smell of the summer air after the grass has been cut.

The beautiful sight of morning glories that bloomed in the morning sun.

The chirping of crickets, the croaking of frogs, the crackling of a fire.

The harsh winters to the bitter cold that came with it.

The field's of pure white and leaves no longer upon the trees.

I could remember the memories of a life once lived.

Of the hardships, the emotions, the odd hobbies I picked up, the language I once spoke. How my lips would tug up into a smile at something funny. Of hot tears streaming down my cheeks in sorrow, in pain, in frustration, to the stuffy colds and the years of learning.

I could remember the sandy beaches I once hated. The camping trips with my family. My friends. Birthdays gone by.

Aging.

The _pain_ of dying.

I could remember how my breath filled my lungs, the agony of it circulating before leaving my body once again. The repeating motions.

I could remember my _death_.

And now?

After darkness had taken me into the unknown with the fear of what was going to happen to me on my mind, I finally became conscious within this new world.

My head _throbbing_ in utter pain from the information of a whole other life 'stretching' it to its capacity, was the first thing I registered as I became aware.

I could recall vague memories of being 'reborn'.

Of screaming my lungs out at the cold air, how the doctors handled my small frame to the hushed, unknown words of a woman in pain.

The female that gave birth to me _dying_.

Of being handed off to another person who became my caretaker.

To the memories of living a year and a half so that memories of another time could be categorized into something that I could handle with an infant brain.

To the process of an infant growing, learning the basics.

To my new family that I _recognized_ from another life. Written, drawn, made into a television series.

To the new name I was being referred to as.

Things clicked into place, letting me finally think for myself and not just the remembering part.

My stomach twisted.

My already throbbing head began to _scream_ in pain.

The utter fear and nausea suddenly filled my small body and I couldn't seem to comprehend it at first.

It suddenly all clicked into place and I gagged on my spit.

Dear lord, no.

No. No. No.

No.

I refused to accept this, my death, my _rebirth_.

I refused to believe that this was happening.

Some other worldly power was at work here.

It couldn't be happening. It just can't!

Yet, I already knew it did. I had lived it, both then and now.

I could only stare at the man who spoke my name suddenly, looking weary as he tried to get me to play with the other children.

I could only comprehend that this truly was happening before my head raged in pain and thundering howls seemed to drag their claws into my brain before my world went dark. My brain overloaded and snapped at the information and pure fear frolicking within.

A dark chuckle was the last thing I heard.

Light pierced my eyelids.

It burned and I cringed at the brightness.

It was discomforting and I moved my face into the crook of my arm. I could feel sand scratching at my skin, irritating it to the point of annoyance. I vaguely could hear people talking in the language that I couldn't understand yet, at least, just barely understood since my toddler brain was still learning.

I moved, an ache deep within causing me to wince. My arms quivering from the exertion to the fact that my small legs wouldn't respond to my commands. My eyes opened and my breath caught. Something deep inside of me trembled, fear rearing its ugly head once again as I gazed upon the torn down buildings around me. My eyes flickered to the blood smeared across rubble to the bodies among those ruins. The utter destruction around _me_.

My stomach heaved and I found myself losing my dinner from last night. I was suffocating from the hysteria that was taking over.

"Gaara?" a soothing voice broke through the rising panic. My eyes darted to that person and I recognized them as my caretaker for the last year and a half. I could recall faint images, trying to work out the memories of another life and this toddler's memories so I wouldn't confuse them.

It wasn't until now that I finally became aware of myself and my brain allowed me to function within this small body. It wasn't until now that I finally realized where and who exactly I was.

My caretaker asked me something, eyes wide and hands trembling as they approached me like I was a wild animal, but I didn't understand those complicated words. I wasn't being taught the complex language yet and thus, only recognized some words and of all things, my name.

And what a _fucking_ name it was.

Gaara of the Desert.

My mind was still wrapping around it and trying to process the fact that I was in the Naruto Verse. That I had been reborn as: Thee Gaara of the Desert.

The only problem was, Gaara was born a male and this new body I was reborn into, was female.


End file.
